What happened?

I have 2.5 flex points left and three activity points. I am not sure how it happened. It just did, and it happened fast. Today was my friend's birthday party. It started with ice skating at the Depot (which I am surprisingly decent at) and then off to Grumpy's for dinner and cake. I had eaten at Grumpy's before and figured I would get a salad but instead opted for their vegan chili and asked for wheat not white toast (much to the chagrin of my friends who rolled their eyes while I made this request). I had a giant platter of hot cheesy tater tots, jalapeno poppers, french fries and chips and I resisted. I was asked again and again what drink I would like to have and I said water. My chili came and went and I allowed myself 3 tots. We decided to play darts and I ordered a hot toddy because I thought I could "afford to" and it was delicious and wonderful and I savored it until the end. Then it was time for cake where someone brought me my own piece of cake. I held it, looked at it, tried to offer it to other people and then left it on one of the table's the party had reserved and started to walk away when some girl said "But that piece was cut just for you" "Yeah, but I'm not really hungry" "Oh, but it's SO good." And I just walked away. When we left Grumpy's I felt pretty amazed and proud of myself but then I went to my friend Lindsey's and I just felt voracious. Over the course of four hours I ate 2 oranges, a serving of pretzels, and a small bowl of cereal. Even though these choices could be construed as being healthy, I didn't really have the points for it. I am going to have to be a saint over these next few days. I just need to remember that just because I may use up all my points for the week, that does not mean I have blown it or should give up or should eat and eat and eat because all hope is not lost. I will be triumphant!!!

In other news I start improv classes on Monday and I am really, really excited.

Gainsies

I gained. I am now at 148.4 lbs. Was I good last week? No. However I was expecting to be even more or less, but man, this is too much. I promised myself I would never be at 150 lbs again and I am getting very close to that threshhold. I am going to say that:

1.I had my period
2.I ate right before weigh in
3.I wore jeans instead of exercise pants

However, this is a good reinforcer that I have to really work at this if I want any progress to happen. Normally I overeat on Wednesday night because I have an abundance of points and am either feeling elated or disappointed after weigh-in which either way gives me an excuse to eat. I also put off eating until after my meeting and am starving so I ate before my meeting yesterday and it worked. Day one and I am in my desirable points range for the day. I figure anytime I go under 26 points in a day, I am doing well, spreading my 35 points over 7 days.

Tonight I am going to go to a class called Drums Alive where I pretend exercise balls are drums and play them. I'm really excited for the silliness that will ensue.

She's baaaack!

Hello blogland. I am back. Although I was never really "there" much anyway and only have a readership of two. However, I need to write this down somewhere so I won't forget it.

I will be at goal weight by my brother's wedding on March 13th, which is also the week of my 26th birthday. I will be at goal weight. I will be at goal weight. After the holidays I weighed in at 146.8 which is an all-time high since I began this journey. My lowest weigh in ever was at 141.2 only 6 pounds away from goal. So here I am, I have 11.8 lbs to lose in two months. That's in about nine weeks. I know it is ambitious but I think this is what I need to kick me into gear and get going. I am pretty good at maintaining, but just have trouble getting back into that place of losing being a top priority. This time I will do it. Anders is trying to lose weight too and we are supporting eachother. I am also giving myself prizes. First, I am going to buy some new athletic shoes with my next paycheck. When I reach 142, my 15 lb weightloss goal (which I have been at before) I get to dye my hair and here's the doozy. I am not allowing myself to buy a single piece of clothing until I hit my goal weight (except for my bridesmaid dress and a muchly needed new bra).

That's a 1.3 lb loss per week. I can and will do this.


I just got internet at home and my tracking has been stellar.

Weigh In Tonight

I am pretty sure I gained. Wine and chocolate and crappy days at work add up.

Oh well.

Success!

Last Weigh In - 145.6
Yesterday's Weigh In - 144.4
Total = -1.2
Total left to lose = 9.4

I feel really good about this loss.

Weigh In Day Day

I weigh in today and I feel excited. I think deciding to switch to meetings is a really valuable decision. Ritualizing my weigh in, in some way, while others are present, it makes it feel important, it makes it feel special.

I am so unbelievably happy right now. Anders and I have decided to do something very impulsive and buy tickets to Ecuador, we are going in two and a half weeks. We still need to buy the tickets tonight, but after that everything is in place. I got work off, he got work off and, incredibly, miraculously, we can both afford to do this right now. I am so, so excited to see my host families and get out and explore that beautiful country. We decided we want to make it adventurey so we're going to do things like hiking, white water rafting, swimming, etc. for most of the trip. Hopefully I won't gain too much there, it is actually pretty easy to make healthy choices and all of the outrageous, amazing, exotic fruits will be in season, which will keep me snacking healthfully.

Here is an adequate representation of what my trip in Ecuador will be like.



In addition to that good news is that I went to my physical therapist's office on Monday (walked there) and they noted some major improvements to my leg and went over my exercises with me. They said that Yolanda had developed an excellent routine for me and that I'm doing all the right things for my body.

Not being active for all those months really took a lot away from me. I felt disempowered, depressed and unhappy with my body and now that I'm working out again I'm feeling strong and capable and watching things change again. And now I know how I did it last time and I am going to do it again.

Ahhh, things seem too, too good.

August Goals

Here are my goals for August:

1. Make it the gym 12 times this month - I'll get $20 off my fees if I accomplish this, plus I think it's just a good goal to have.

2. Keep up my strength training twice a week - I've been able to do this so far. I really enjoy it and feel confident on the weight machines. Plus, yesterday I found a muscle I didn't have before. It is very cute and tiny and I'm excited to keep noting progress.

3. Get back on my bike - I have technically been allowed to be on for months, but for some reason I feel scared and apprehensive to ride again. It's been a year since I was told I had to stop riding and getting back on seems daunting. A lot of this is linked to my bike accident and how much I've had to think about it lately because of physical therapy. Agh. So, the first step (because I am paranoid) is making Anders look at it to make sure it is in tip-top shape before I go on my ride and schedule a very small and doable little trip with a friend so that I am accountable.

4. Do a major "spring" cleaning. My old roomate is moving out and my friend Krista is moving in. I want to finish my room, hang some pictures, put up shelving, clean out all of our closets and storage and, hopefully, get rid of a lot of junk.

5. Lose 2 lbs. I think this is doable. That would put me at 143.6.

6. Track Every Week.

7. Do my physical therapy exercises 5 times a week. These are a very easy thing to procrastinate and some weeks I am good, some weeks I am bad. 5 would be good and the days where I have no time won't make me feel so guilty.

Feeling optimistic!